I Can Change
A lyrical pause in the life of me, a Death Doula
I listen to a lot of music, both in quantity and genres. I can listen to a song over and over if in the right or wrong mood. Let’s stop moralizing our moods. Behind them are emotions and feelings- all are our truth and naming them good or bad does not add any value, in fact it takes away, like subtraction.
The next several lyrics are compliments of Nine Inch Nails, an American industrial rock band formed in Cleveland, Ohio in 1988. Its members are the singer-songwriter, multi-instrumentalist and producer Trent Reznor and his frequent collaborator, Atticus Ross.1
I believe I can see the future
'Cause I repeat the same routine
I think I used to have a purpose
Then again, that might have been a dream
I think I used to have a voice
Now I never make a sound
I just do what I've been told
I really don't want them to come around, oh no
Every day is exactly the same
Every day is exactly the same
There is no love here and there is no pain
Every day is exactly the same
I’ve been in a near complete shutdown of overwhelm, and I know I’m not alone. I’m distracted. I can’t work. I’m not inspired. I’m tired from doing nothing. I have no motivation. Life is messy and often feels out of control. The truth is, there are many things completely out of our control. But one thing is sure. We can change one person. One.
Lake Street Dive. If you don’t know it, they are a mighty fine band. I have been playing “I Can Change” on repeat now for a few weeks. Listen here: I can change
Hate casts a long shadow
I know that I lie in it
And let it rule my mind from time to time
Escaping an old battle
Clings on like a vine to me
Whispers dirty lies in my ear
I know we didn’t start this fight
And I won’t let it rule my heart tonight
I can change
I can change
I can still change
I can still change
Tracing an old pattern
Drawing the lines from where I am, and
from where I wanna be
Forget that old adage
That history continues to keep us from the
world we wanna see
I am scared that I won’t get it right
But fear won’t rule my heart tonight
I can change.
Sorry to say that this isn’t a HOW TO CHANGE. So what’s the point? This article is about inspiration, from Lake Street Dive, and from the meme and lyrics that follow.
What has been slightly improving my situation is acknowledging that motivation doesn’t exist, action does, and with action, motivation often follows. I’ve taken some walks, I’ve made an agressive training plan for a 100km (more on that another day), I’ve signed up to volunteer because that helps me to be around and serve others, and I’ve blocked off chunks of time in my calendar to show up and work. There are numerous articles and speakers on this topic which you can delve into.2
I’d like to close with a question; more from Trent and band, from the song, Right Where It Belongs:
What if all the world you think you know
Is an elaborate dream?
And if you look at your reflection
Is it all you want it to be?
Let me know in the comments if this inspires an action step.
Warmly,
Beck
From Wikipedia